Kawasaki GPz900

By now we were both working and were, frankly, pretty flush. Maggie had words with me along the lines of “You’re 40 and I think you should get yourself a nice motorcycle or you might start running around after other women”. What a practical and sensible woman she was. I determined that the ideal bike would be a 500 single, like the Honda XBR, which would remind me of my Gold Star but be a practical, sensible machine – where have I heard those words before?

So off we went. Not much joy on the XBR front, and I sat on a CBR600 but it was ridiculously small for me. Then on entering Motorcycle City in Gosport, Maggie suddenly exclaimed “What about that – it looks great” … and it did, and what’s more was reduced by £700 – brand new but last year’s model. I recalled it being road-tested in Motorcycle Sport and topping out at 154 mph. So Maggie’s choice (‘practical, sensible’, remember) it was.

A curious blend of the latest technology but old-fashioned stuff like tappets using nuts & bolts (‘P’ & ‘S’ again!) rather than shims, so I could do routine maintenance. It also looked right with its tubular frame and black & gold finish. Its only fault was the mirrors which (as mentioned in the road test) just showed you your elbows! Not a lot of good when you are, of necessity, on the lookout for policemen … but that soon got fixed.

Early on, on the way back from work one night, I had to brake heavily and discovered a diesel spill causing the bike to fall to the ground, wrecking the fairing and … a mirror. It was a low speed tumble but the repair cost £1,500! The bike had only cost £4,000. Ridiculous. However the insurers paid up and I profited by having them fit the mirrors from the next update, which actually allowed the police to be spotted – hooray!

So, bike carefully run in. Time to see what she would do. At 4 am on a Sunday morning I warmed her up nicely and headed up the Horndean dual carriageway … This is a straight stretch of the A3 between the village of Horndean and Butser Hill in Hampshire. It is about 2 miles of straight smooth road with no side turnings and good visibility. Arriving at the top, I headed back, taking her to 10,500 in each gear. And yes, I saw 155 mph on the clock before I felt I should shut off as I approached the on-slip after Horndean. Wow, and completely effortless.

And this continued. British Gas held a conference for IT people (like me) in Harrogate in 1990. I sent my luggage up with a colleague in his car and rode up on the bike. On the A34 I recall doing 140 enjoying a sort of ‘rapture of the deep’ – where divers are so entranced by the experience that they forget they are underwater and remove their masks, etc.. In my case it was a sort of lunacy whereby I felt I was in another ominipotent existence where lesser beings disappeared on my left-hand side as if they were stationary. Having said that, I remained conscious of the fact that that they would not be expecting somebody arriving at twice their speed when they considered overtaking …

I took the Bicester road to get to the M1 and in those days it was mostly single carriageway with a 40 mph limit and full of articulated trucks. However I found that if I could see past two trucks I could drop two gears and pass them before the next bend. On the other hand, as I passed the second truck I was probably doing over 80 and had to somehow get round that bend!

Arriving at the rather posh Harrogate hotel I was concerned for the security of this beautiful machine. So I asked at reception if there was somewhere safe to store it. The manager arrived and suggested I park it immediately in front of the main entrance – bravo!

The years went by and the machine showed itself to be solidly built. I recall only a water leak from the pump, probably a seal suffering from lack of use. The battery, for instance, lasted 8 years despite there being sometimes months with the bike unused. After 11 years there were some issue – like rust in the (V. Expensive) exhaust system. Then in 2000 I was returning with the requisites to do an oil change when I was knocked off it in the back lanes near my house by … another Kawasaki, coming the other way.

It was a big cruiser with no ground clearance. His frame dug in I saw his handlebars see-saw and then he came across the road immediately in front of me. We were both doing about 40 mph. I struck his front wheel and flew through the air, landing on my face and knees. If I had not been wearing a full-face helmet I would no longer have a full-face … The bike was facing the other way and in a ditch beside the road. How much energy is required to turn a bike weighing 4 cwt around and plonk it in a ditch? The other rider was still sat on his bike!

Happily my neighbour’s daughter was passing and gave me and the other rider a lift home to arrange for the bikes to be recovered. We returned to the site in my car to find a police Range Rover surveying the scene. The officer said he was delighted to see us as the last time he had found a bike in a ditch like this, he had recovered the rider’s head from the adjacent field – doubtless wonderfully protected by his crash-helmet?

He apologised for having to breathalise us but then his machine wouldn’t work so didn’t bother. As we turned to go my legs suddenly gave way and my new ‘friend’ had to drive me home.

It had only done 17,000 miles in the 11 years and, given its speed, I was not happy to repair it. I sold it my neighbour’s son in law at the price you make for a chum only to discover he already had a buyer and made a 50% profit on it. A disappointing end, in every way.